


I Just Wanna Know

by CastielFollowMe



Series: Single Dad Shiro Verse [69]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 08:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9648662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielFollowMe/pseuds/CastielFollowMe
Summary: Keith knows he'll never need a mom and a dad. He has Shiro and that is enough forever. But that doesn't mean Keith wasn't curious. Why would his biological mother abandon him, after all?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "AH OKAY I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE TAKING ASKS! So, I don't know if you've ever written something that addressed this, but in one of your past pieces (I think it was about Keith saying "daddy" for the first time?) you said that Shiro didn't like to think about Keith's past life... I'm curious! How was Keith's life before Shiro (+Shiro's reaction or whatever you wanna add)? Thank you! :)"

Keith knew his life was better with Shiro.

He also knew that he wouldn’t want to live any other life, than with his daddy.

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t curious about what his life had been like. All he remembered and knew was that Shiro was his father, and that Keith was a Shirogane as long as he could remember. Though, the older Keith got, the more he was curious about his mother. At the age of thirteen, Keith was starting to change and figure out his way in the world. He loved his dad and he always would for as long as he lived but, there was still those questions that burned in the back of Keith’s mind. _What had his birth parents been like? Had they been alright? Had they been nice?_

Keith could vaguely remember a time when he had been seven-years-old when a woman from Korea had called their house and frightened not only him but also his daddy, and Keith had not been okay with it. Once Keith had learned that it was his birth mother, he’d been even more confused and angry that his daddy was so upset and frightened. He couldn’t believe the nerve of her, and had sworn her out of his life, because Shiro was all that he needed.

All that he wanted.

Except, as Keith got older, he couldn’t get that memory out of his mind. His mother had been alive and still was, meaning she didn’t die. Instead, she must have abandoned Keith as a baby and Keith didn’t know why. _Had she known he was to be diagnosed with autism? Did she think he was a problem child?_

Dark thoughts such as that flooded through Keith’s mind for months after he first began to rethink about his mother. For months a newfound hatred for the woman grew, and while Keith always considered himself blessed to have Shiro as his father, he was only the more thankful that he lived with Shiro and not his mother. He began to resent and hate the woman that had given life to him, and spent days imagining why she had given up her child and none of the outcomes were positive. Keith was able to keep up with his dark hatred for the woman whom he had never met, but slowly, Keith found the hatred burning out.

Until there was nothing left.

Leaving him colder than before.

 _Why didn’t she want me? Was she in trouble?_ For the next few months, Keith imagined that his mother had struggled financially. He imagined that it was only in her best interests to give Keith up for a better life, and that she had specifically chosen Shiro for his kind heart and bravery. He hoped that she had seen Shiro’s bright soul and hopeful smile and fallen in love with the young man from the army, just as Keith had grown to love his daddy over the years. After thirteen-years-old, he still couldn’t get over how lucky he was to have Shiro.

Keith would always love Shiro.

But…

He couldn’t help but _wonder._

Eventually, Keith had spoken out about his thoughts at dinner, and he almost wished he hadn’t.

His dad had frozen, still in mid-chew when Keith had asked him about his mother. His eyes were wide and full of raw fear that Keith had only seen a few times before in his life. It was a look that Keith regretted seeing, and despised the fact that it was his fault Shiro felt so afraid. Shiro was silent for a long, long, long time.

He gently put his fork down and swallowed thickly, as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Keith nervous twiddled with the laces to his sweatshirt, feeling Red rub against his leg when he began to swing his legs. The silence etched on and Keith’s anxiety grew.

 _I shouldn’t have asked. Of course! Why would you ask you loving, caring father who adopted you, about birth parents who should be out of the picture forever? Who does that?_ Apparently Keith did, and he was regretting it.

“Dad, I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Keith stammered quietly, only for Shiro to open his eyes with a sigh. When Shiro’s eyes locked onto Keith, he was surprised to find them full of sadness rather than fear and his heart skipped a beat.

“You want to know about your mother?” Shiro finally asked and Keith closed his mouth. He did, he _really_ did. But if it meant  causing his daddy pain, then Keith was ready to let the topic drop. Forever.

“N-No, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“You wouldn’t have brought it up otherwise.” Shiro said softly. Keith blinked. “I’m not mad Keith, please don’t get upset. I could never be mad at you for being curious. You’re old enough and you have every right to know. Do you want to know about your mother?” Keith was hesitant, though he knew his dad would never try to trick him, but he still didn’t want to cause any pain.

“Keith, if you want me to tell you about her, I need you to be the one to ask me. It’s your decision.” Shiro’s eyes had softened and his expression had melted into one of concern and love and Keith wanted to cry. _How could he look at me like that, when I’m being selfish?_

“Um, yes. I-I would like to learn more about my birth mother.” Keith finally whispered and Shiro nodded quietly.

“Alright. I’ll tell you all I know about her. But can I just ask you one question?” Shiro asked, moving his chair so that he was seated right next to Keith and could grasp one of Keith’s hands in his own. Keith nervously rubbed against Shiro’s hand and swallowed thickly before nodding.

“Why?”

Keith blinked, mouth frozen for a split second. “I’m not sure. It’s not like I want to meet her - not yet at least so please don’t worry about that.” Keith ignored the surprised look on Shiro’s face and continued. “I just - I guess I don’t know anything about her. I don’t know why she left me; I don’t know why she tried to call us all those years ago, and I want to know.” Keith licked his lip, avoiding his dad’s look of concern. He knew if he looked at his dad, he would chicken out and forget about asking. “Was I a bad kid? Did she not love me? Why would she give up her child like that? Was I really that awful?” Keith’s voice broke towards the end, revealing a vulnerable side that was usually firmly locked away from anyone and everyone. Even his own dad sometimes.

It broke Shiro’s heart.

“Keith, no, no. Sweetheart.” Shiro swooped in immediately without a moment’s hesitation and pulled Keith up in his arms. His son was getting a big for hugs, and often reminded Shiro that he was too old for such things, but every now and again he’d remind Shiro of that little quiet boy who loved hugs and would snuggle up against his dad. Right now, that was what Keith needed most.

“Don’t you _ever_ think, for one second, that it was your fault your mom left.” Shiro stated firmly, feeling a deep growl burrow in his chest. Though, his anger was more so directed at said woman than his son; for all the hurt she had involuntarily caused Keith. He could never forgive that. “It was never you. _Never.”_

“Then what happened?” Keith sniffled.

“Keith,” Shiro sighed but never let go of Keith. Thankfully, Keith didn’t fight the hold on him. “Your mother didn’t exactly leave you. When you were about seven, I was finally allowed your case file and then told the circumstances of your residency at the orphanage. When I finally was able to bring you home from Korea, you were only about six-months-old and you had been in the orphanage for a month. It wasn’t long into your life that I met you, and for that I am blessed to have been apart of your whole life.” Shiro smiled fondly at the memory while Keith managed a small grin.

“However, when I finally looked into your case file, I was - I was deeply upset.” Shiro admitted and Keith swallowed thickly. _That can’t be good._ “Keith, I, I don’t want to put a bad spin on your image of your mother, but if you must know the truth then I’m not sure that you will like it.”

“I don’t care.” Keith said stubbornly. “I asked and I want to know. Good or bad.”

“Keith,” Shiro whispered. “The reason you ended up in an orphanage was not because your mother left or died, but rather you were _removed_ from your own home. On accounts of negligence and danger to a child.”

Keith almost felt his heart stop and _was the world turning?_

Keith blinked when he found himself suddenly back upright with his father’s face staring at him worriedly. Shiro’s lips were moving but Keith couldn’t hear anything but muffled noises and a loud ringing in his ears.

_Removed? Negligence? Danger?_

“Keith? Keith? Sweetheart, can you hear me? Sweetheart, please breath. That’s it, take a deep breath. There you go. Keep breathing.” Shiro’s voice floated into Keith’s ears and he realized that his breathing was shallow and heavy. Quickly he fixed the situation and stared at his dad.

“W-What?”

“Keith, maybe we should stop.”

“NO!” Keith shouted and winced when Shiro stared unimpressed at him. “No, no. I’m okay. You can’t just not tell me after that. Please, I promise I’ll be okay.”

Shiro warily eyed Keith but decided not to protest. “Apparently on several occasions your mother had left you alone in her home. Without any supervision, while she was out. Neighbors would hear you crying for hours upon hours and alerted the police several times when you would stop. Eventually, your mother had left you out in the open near a burning fire, where sparks could have hit you or caught the house on fire, and you were found dehydrated and very malnourished before the police took you into custody and to the orphanage.” Shiro explained softly, constantly watching Keith’s face for any change in expression.

“And my mother?” The tone in Keith’s voice was so _wrong._ So void of emotion.

“She fled, before police could question her. No one had seen or heard her until she called us six years ago.” Shiro said.

Keith didn’t speak.

He stared blankly at the kitchen table, barely feeling Shiro’s hand run through his hair. _Why had he bothered to ask?_

“And then I met you.”

Shiro was startled at Keith’s sudden expression, when the boy didn’t speak for several long minutes. He looked down at Keith who was looking at Shiro, looking far more exhausted and older than he was. Shiro’s heart twisted.

“And then you met me.” Shiro couldn’t help but smile. “I remember a black haired baby, with the chubbiest cheeks I had ever seen and little train footed-pajamas. He had the biggest, brightest and bluest eyes I had ever seen and a smile that could stop any rain cloud. I remember a sweet baby boy who would smile at cats and dogs, who hated wearing shoes and would scream any time I tried to bathe him. I remember a little baby who gave me a heart attack the first days I brought him home, because he _slept through the night_ and I remember a little boy who accidentally got lost in our neighborhood late at night. He was a precious boy who I knew I would love with all of my heart and soul for the rest of my life.”

Despite the newfound pain in his chest, Keith felt warmed by Shiro’s words and his love for his father came undone as it always did.

“Keith, I’m sorry that maybe your mother wasn’t what you were hoping for.” Shiro whispered and Keith numbly shook his shoulders.

“I’m okay.” He lied. Shiro stared at Keith and Keith felt his lip wobble. “Really, I’m fine.” Shiro continued to stare and Keith felt tears brimming in his eyes.

“I-I’m fine. I-I’m o-okay. I’m…I’m…I’m not okay.” Keith finally admitted and the flood of tears burst through the dam, leaving bright tracks on Keith’s face and Shiro’s expression softened. He pulled Keith up against his chest, closing his eyes tightly when Keith clutched at his shirt with such desperation. His heart cracked with every sob that came from Keith and his eyes burned with every shudder.

“It’s alright. It’s alright if you’re not okay.” Shiro soothed softly. “You don’t always have to be okay, and I’ll be here to hold you until you are again.”

“Why didn’t she love me?” Keith cried into Shiro’s shirt.

“I don’t know Keith. I’m so sorry.” Shiro said, wishing that he could take every ounce of Keith’s pain away forever. He wished that his son would never have to feel any pain or sadness that this world had to give. _He’s been through so much._

“I love you dad. I don’t need her. I only need you.” Keith hiccuped, holding his dad tighter. It was true. While he was upset that his mother had neglected him, unsure how any parent could do that to their child, he was thankful because without her then Keith never would have met his father.

Shiro was the definition of what it meant to be a father, and he proved that family meant more than blood. Keith _knew_ that Shiro loved him. He never made Keith doubt his love for him, unlike Keith’s mother. Shiro would be there for Keith. Now and always, and it would be enough for Keith.

“I love you dad, so, so much.”


End file.
